Normally, I like to eat healthy(ish) and work out.
Normally, I put cute clothes and makeup on.
Normally, I do the dishes and wipe the counters.
The past week, I have just not cared.
There are crumbs and dirty pans covering the stove.
Dishes fill and surround the sink.
There are brownie crumbs all over the house from me nibbling on them.
Yesterday I ate about ten chocolate chip cookies, crescent roll pizza, and caramel brownies.
Oh, and cherry pepsi.
Today for dinner I grabbed a bacon cheeseburger from Culvers (better burger) and french fries and a shamrock shake from McD's (better fries).
Oh, and had a caramel brownie for dessert.
I have watched more episodes of Pretty Little Liars in the past thirty-six hours than anyone ever should.
I stay up until 1:00am just because I don't want to go to bed and I don't know why.
(And then getting up the next morning is a bitch.)
Did I mention I didn't get out of my pajamas for over forty-eight hours straight this past weekend?
This is not normal.
This is me in a rut.
This is me responding (very poorly) to a lot of emotional and physical trauma and stress.
This may also be an attack from the devil and his buds.
I was doing really well.
Working out a lot. (And loving it.)
Participating in a Bible study.
Going to bed early.
Getting up early.
And then I had a whole crap load of crap just dump on me.
Health issue after health issue.
A difficult surgical tooth extraction (after weeks of pain and appointments and torture).
A very hard recovery from surgical tooth extraction.
A horrible abdominal attack.
An awful recovery from the hospitalization.
And here I am.
Those are not excuses.
Are they hard? YES.
Does that give me a reason to respond by eating junk food and drowning in dark chocolate?
Does that mean I sit in my pajamas and watch Pretty Little Liars?
Does it mean I let the kitchen remain covered in dishes and brownie crumbs?
No. No, no, no, NO.
This is me picking up the pieces.
This is me going to bed before midnight.
This is me planning for a healthy eating routine.
This is me thanking God that even while I bummed around on Saturday, He gave me a lot of inspiration, a lot of dreams, and a lot of creativity. Amidst the laziness, He gave me vision and worked some productivity into the laying around.
I'm not saying that a weekend of laying around was bad. In fact, I absolutely needed it.
But it's time to get out of my funk.
My health is still greatly struggling.
Getting out of bed is going to be hard no matter what.
But I'm done with not caring.
Here's to a new tomorrow.
Here's to mercies that are new every morning.